only cowards get rid of their cool face hair. said odin dark, cowardly, self-inflicted victim of a rigorous waxing and shaving routine that monopolizes every inch of his body, destroying his Masculine Forest until his smooth and perfect skin glows with a raw, red sheen so as to properly attract romantic and erotic attention from those whose eyes he is interested in catching. but, okay. i guess i'll do that. i skip work all the time and i'm not dating anybody, so i can't imagine anyone will be mad at me for turning my face into a fuzzy starfish. get ready world.
anyway, you're my collaborative partner. we are writing erotic fiction about pucci and a vampire. i have the start for the story already prepped: pucci is alone in church, praying to his sweet catholic god-man, a deep bell tolling overhead and the distant caws of ill and dying crows acting as harbingers of the coming night. the demon, A Vampire, walks through heavy oak doors. what does he or she do? approach pucci? kiss his neck? also, what does he or she look like? what kind of clothes is this vampire wearing?
uh. i mean, it's a good trope, right? chaste and innocent gentleman gets emotionally compromised by the lure-y alluring lure of the elegant and well-dressed shadowy dweller of the night. well, not emotionally compromised, exactly. that's creepy. but certainly, at the sight of this graceful temptation, something awakens in him and he turns his back on god. "i thought i only had eyes for pews and donations," the priest laments, falling to the ground with just the biggest boner. "but it turns out i also have eyes for you!" and there, standing in front of him, erotically thrusting those perfectly defined hips through the air as they run a stake over their chest and wax poetic about the taste of blood, they stand: der vampyr. kissing happens. hot hot kissing. neck kisses! neck kisses, hermes costello! you get it now, right?
holy shit you just whipped out some religious parallels out of thin air and dreams, then walked up to me with them and said hey choke on this symbolism and SHOVED IT ALL DEEP INSIDE MY GAPING USELESS MOUTH! do you want to go on a date after this? no, no, one thing at a time. so okay, pucci's swirling his wine, whispering to himself something religious about the blood of christ, the crows are cawing, etc. and as you say, das vampyr slinks through the door and, sacreligiously and offensively to any good and decent catholic person, says hey, i'm your god now, give your body unto me. bite bite bite om om om smooch smooch smooch wait, no, we're jumping ahead too far. let's roll it back. we need a name! we need a name for this sparkle-bodied night-harlot. i'm thinking something long and unruly. zadicus-roderik orien lycidas-astrophel van kirnonmalik gdalicanu m.k. iii also, appearance, appearance. i mean, when you think of a vampire, they're skinny with black hair, right? as someone who used to be skinny with black hair, i can guarantee that that isn't the elegant design fiction would have you believe. let's go with something a little more wild. something... intense.
its fine im just not typing all that shit out so ill call him zad
zads a male vamp
but alright lets get wild zads got fucking blood red hair down to his ass
whenever he walks around it blows dramatically in the breeze, theres always a fucking breeze, he walks into the church and all the candles go out from his breeze
his eyes are also red OR THEYRE JUST FUCKING BLACK LIKE HIS SOUL and obviously hes a pale ass motherfucker cause hes dead and all, like white as a goddamn ghost
okay well you can shorten his name as much as you like but given that he's an 1800 year old demon with noble blood and a heritage worth respecting i'm going to honor him as he deserves. zadicus-roderik orien lycidas-astrophel van kirnonmalik gdalicanu m.k. iii is owed that, at least. he's been through a lot. his goth rabbit just ran away from home. but yes, okay, the breeze thing, that's good. that was actually a thing back home where i came from! people's capes were always flittering one way or another. the wind that follows zadicus-roderik would of course carry the scent of death and sin, and pucci would find himself ashamed and attracted to it. like me when i smell burnt food and everyone around me is pulling sour faces and i'm just there thinking "hell yeah i could eat that". zadicus-roderik m.k. iii is to pucci what black and charred bear meat is to me. bad for you, yet desirable.
he's a boy but i want him in a dress. something frilly and big. red with hearts on it. his bat can wear a matching top hat. deal y/y?
okay, good. good. bunnicula is such a good name i think a part of me just died and rerose, stronger and better, singing as a phoenix so oft does. but enough foreplay, let's get to the good stuff. underwear: y/n? i can't imagine you were ever in a position in pucci's jailprison to know just what kind of underwear he wears, but i have written about the states of undress of various characters. i could probably take a guess. however, i'm discarding that guess entirely for the sake of artistic license. pucci in this wears something sexy and red. zad... hmm. animal print, maybe? leopard print. alligator skin? something with a rabbit tail? no, no, not that one. his rabbit just died. ugh, odin! think about the consequences of events in your fiction before you write out something that flies in the face of an in-character reaction! okay well either way, we'll come back to this. level 10 spell: uncomfortable question nexus Who Is It That Tops?
yes, good. the cut of zad's underwear? perhaps something princess-like, with garters. little ribbons of red silk sewn into the cheetah skin. a spritz of perfume, mixed from blood, vanilla and... yes. yes, i think the last ingredient would, of course, be a rose. yes, i think this works. unsurprisingly i completely support, admire and agree with your attempts to revolutionize the monster/priest romance dynamic and i think we would be foolish to avoid this. zad-kun, so lost in the sea of a thousand years of loneliness as he is, is brought to a state of life when the radiance of priest boy pucci catches his eye. he gleams, like the sun. his furry, star-shaped eyebrows - the way the sweat collects in each clump of fur, each dimple of skin. ah, thinks zad. what a delectable meal. but as he approaches, and his long-still heart beats for the first time, pucci smiles, and zad, immediately, falls in love. then pucci's like yo CLIMB ON THIS FUCKIN DICK BRUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
(its a star)
he cant get credit for that
one big eybrow is called a unibrow + most people try to get rid of it
but if thats what u want i think u should commit all the way
no subject
said odin dark, cowardly, self-inflicted victim of a rigorous waxing and shaving routine that monopolizes every inch of his body, destroying his Masculine Forest until his smooth and perfect skin glows with a raw, red sheen so as to properly attract romantic and erotic attention from those whose eyes he is interested in catching.
but, okay. i guess i'll do that.
i skip work all the time and i'm not dating anybody, so i can't imagine anyone will be mad at me for turning my face into a fuzzy starfish.
get ready world.
anyway, you're my collaborative partner. we are writing erotic fiction about pucci and a vampire.
i have the start for the story already prepped: pucci is alone in church, praying to his sweet catholic god-man, a deep bell tolling overhead and the distant caws of ill and dying crows acting as harbingers of the coming night.
the demon, A Vampire, walks through heavy oak doors.
what does he or she do? approach pucci? kiss his neck?
also, what does he or she look like? what kind of clothes is this vampire wearing?
no subject
why a vampire
[JOJO SWEATS]
im not gonna stop u from roleplaying pucci doing something weird but whyd u pick a vampire
no subject
uh.
i mean, it's a good trope, right?
chaste and innocent gentleman gets emotionally compromised by the lure-y alluring lure of the elegant and well-dressed shadowy dweller of the night.
well, not emotionally compromised, exactly. that's creepy.
but certainly, at the sight of this graceful temptation, something awakens in him and he turns his back on god.
"i thought i only had eyes for pews and donations," the priest laments, falling to the ground with just the biggest boner. "but it turns out i also have eyes for you!"
and there, standing in front of him, erotically thrusting those perfectly defined hips through the air as they run a stake over their chest and wax poetic about the taste of blood, they stand:
der vampyr.
kissing happens. hot hot kissing. neck kisses! neck kisses, hermes costello!
you get it now, right?
no subject
yeah i get it now
[well that was reassuringly stupid and not like, A Meaningful Thing. now they can continue in earnest.]
hey u know that catholics have this whole thing about drinking blood and wine and shit right
thats why the vamps there
puccis getting his wine ready all set to do the blood thing and the vamps like
nah put that aside lets get some real blood going on
then bites him
also its the twilight kinda vamp, sparkling everywhere and going to high school and shit
no subject
do you want to go on a date after this? no, no, one thing at a time.
so okay, pucci's swirling his wine, whispering to himself something religious about the blood of christ, the crows are cawing, etc.
and as you say, das vampyr slinks through the door and, sacreligiously and offensively to any good and decent catholic person, says hey, i'm your god now, give your body unto me.
bite bite bite om om om smooch smooch smooch
wait, no, we're jumping ahead too far.
let's roll it back.
we need a name! we need a name for this sparkle-bodied night-harlot.
i'm thinking something long and unruly.
zadicus-roderik orien lycidas-astrophel van kirnonmalik gdalicanu m.k. iii
also, appearance, appearance.
i mean, when you think of a vampire, they're skinny with black hair, right?
as someone who used to be skinny with black hair, i can guarantee that that isn't the elegant design fiction would have you believe.
let's go with something a little more wild. something... intense.
no subject
its fine im just not typing all that shit out so ill call him zad
zads a male vamp
but alright lets get wild zads got fucking blood red hair down to his ass
whenever he walks around it blows dramatically in the breeze, theres always a fucking breeze, he walks into the church and all the candles go out from his breeze
his eyes are also red OR THEYRE JUST FUCKING BLACK LIKE HIS SOUL and obviously hes a pale ass motherfucker cause hes dead and all, like white as a goddamn ghost
plus hes got a bat
no subject
zadicus-roderik orien lycidas-astrophel van kirnonmalik gdalicanu m.k. iii is owed that, at least. he's been through a lot. his goth rabbit just ran away from home.
but yes, okay, the breeze thing, that's good.
that was actually a thing back home where i came from! people's capes were always flittering one way or another.
the wind that follows zadicus-roderik would of course carry the scent of death and sin, and pucci would find himself ashamed and attracted to it.
like me when i smell burnt food and everyone around me is pulling sour faces and i'm just there thinking "hell yeah i could eat that".
zadicus-roderik m.k. iii is to pucci what black and charred bear meat is to me. bad for you, yet desirable.
he's a boy but i want him in a dress.
something frilly and big.
red with hearts on it.
his bat can wear a matching top hat.
deal y/y?
no subject
whos gonna tell him not to wear a fucking dress? no one
his big ball gown ripples in the sin breeze as he comes into the church, all like hey pucci im pretty sad bc bunnicula just ran away from home
n puccis like wipe the bloodtears from ur eyes zadicus rodwhatever (he uses the full name but again i cant be assed)
thats how he lures pucci in, by showing his gentle sensitive eternal highschooler side
no subject
but enough foreplay, let's get to the good stuff.
underwear: y/n?
i can't imagine you were ever in a position in pucci's jailprison to know just what kind of underwear he wears, but i have written about the states of undress of various characters. i could probably take a guess.
however, i'm discarding that guess entirely for the sake of artistic license.
pucci in this wears something sexy and red.
zad... hmm.
animal print, maybe? leopard print. alligator skin? something with a rabbit tail? no, no, not that one. his rabbit just died. ugh, odin! think about the consequences of events in your fiction before you write out something that flies in the face of an in-character reaction!
okay well either way, we'll come back to this.
level 10 spell: uncomfortable question nexus
Who Is It That Tops?
no subject
zads got cheetah. not cheetah print its an actual cheetah. he hunted it down himself
yea dont really want to think about this shit but
[no, fuck it, she's committing]
ok so zad either has to tempt him to the dark side like puccis playing all coy and inexperienced n shit, like zad would have to take the lead
but thats predictable and boring as shit, what if instead the vamp is like woa there pucci dom the shit out of me u terrible excuse for a priest
no subject
the cut of zad's underwear? perhaps something princess-like, with garters. little ribbons of red silk sewn into the cheetah skin. a spritz of perfume, mixed from blood, vanilla and... yes. yes, i think the last ingredient would, of course, be a rose.
yes, i think this works.
unsurprisingly i completely support, admire and agree with your attempts to revolutionize the monster/priest romance dynamic and i think we would be foolish to avoid this.
zad-kun, so lost in the sea of a thousand years of loneliness as he is, is brought to a state of life when the radiance of priest boy pucci catches his eye.
he gleams, like the sun. his furry, star-shaped eyebrows - the way the sweat collects in each clump of fur, each dimple of skin. ah, thinks zad. what a delectable meal.
but as he approaches, and his long-still heart beats for the first time, pucci smiles, and zad, immediately, falls in love.
then pucci's like yo CLIMB ON THIS FUCKIN DICK BRUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
zad does. its nice
no subject
we gotta publish this shit
this is the next twilight
but first write a shitload of sequels so we get mad money and support the fanbase and whatever
love interest for the sequel: werewolf or something fucking cooler
invisible zombie?
the vampires shitty son who isnt a vampire, just a douchebag?